Saturday, October 29, 2005

More

All the while
he loses language
he develops
the ability
to find
and use words
that du-
plicate his
emotions.

In this aw-
ful season
of rain,
he's found
a new way
of learning,
of teaching him
self
more
about him
self
and his
seventy-seven
years
of life.

In so doing,
this moment
in our lives
together
gifts me
gifts him
gifts us
with unraveling
questions
and apostrophes
between us.

This new use of language -
the mumblings and ramblings –
(that others think are meaningless
unhooked together sentences of drivel)
contains answers I have looked for
throughout our twenty-five
year-old marriage bed.

Now,
indecipherable
speech
is breath
ing
moreness
into
our
unused up
lives.

-Esther Altshul Helfgott

1 comment:

pesha joyce gertler said...

Esther,I am so moved by your poem of Oct. 29th, moved that you and Abe are not limited by the outer perameters of his condition but are instead finding richness as you share his journey at this stage.

I experienced my father's Alzheimer's in a similar way. e.g. Once when I went to visit him, he was in tears because he could not find his parents (who had been dead for decades). I realized that a young part of him did indeed miss them and neeeded them in a way that they were not available and that their "absence" had affected him all of his life. No, this was not part of the linear world we live in but it was a deeper truth which I felt privileged to share with him.

I send my love to both of you as you travel together on this difficult yet strangely gift-laden road.

Pesha