by Twice Blessed, a Caregiver
[I don't agree with all of these; for instance, I don't know that AD patients always have hope (perhaps the hope is in the caregiver) or that they miss the way things used to be. Generally, they don't remember (perhaps for a fleeting second), but these are good guidelines from a caregiver who participates in the Alzheimer's on-line community. She posts this above her husband's bed. I'm not sure I would ...EAH]
Ten Requests from the Person with Alzheimer's
1. Be patient with me-- Remember I am the helpless victim of an organic brain disease which is out of my control.
2. Talk to me-- Even though I cannot always answer you, I can hear your voice, and sometimes I can comprehend your words.
3. Be kind to me-- for each day of my life is a long and desperate struggle. Your kindness may be the most special and important part of my day.
4. Consider my feelings-- for they are still very much alive within me.
5. Treat me with human dignity and respect--as I would have gladly treated you if you had been the victim lying in this bed.
6. Remember my past--for I was once a healthy vibrant person full of life, love, and laughter, with abilities and intelligence.
7. Remember my present-- I am a fearful person, a loving husband, father, grandfather, uncle, or dear friend who misses my family and home as I knew it very much.
8. Remember my future-- Though it may be bleak to you, I am always filled with hope of the tomorrow.
9. Pray for me--for I am a person who lingers in the mist, that drifts between time and eternity. Your presence may do more for me than any other outreach or compassion you could extend to me.
10. Love me-- and the gift of love you give will be a blessing which will fill both our lives with light forever.
from Twice Blessed's website